var howMany = 99
var quote = new Array(howMany+1)
quote[0]="If you put a billion monkeys in front of a billion typewriters typing at random, they would reproduce the entire collected works of Usenet in about ... five minutes."
quote[1]="The cake is a lie."
quote[2]="Imagination is the only weapon in the war against reality."
quote[3]="Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world."
quote[4]="My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes."
quote[5]="Some people are like slinkys... They aren't really good for anything, but you can't help but laugh when one tumbles down the stairs."
quote[6]="The cake is a spy!"
quote[7]="In the immortal words of Tyler Durden, sticking feathers up your ass does not make you a chicken, and likewise something with a high polygon count does not equal something beautiful."
quote[8]="Computer games don't affect kids; I mean, if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music"
quote[9]="Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak."
quote[10]="Somebody has to do something, and it's just incredibly pathetic that it has to be us."
quote[11]="Any sufficient advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."
quote[12]="I don't want the world.  I just want your half."
quote[13]="Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies."
quote[14]="Consciousness: that annoying time between naps."
quote[15]="I don't suffer from insanity.  I enjoy every minute of it."
quote[16]="Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine."
quote[17]="(awake|wid): omg this is a disgrace, women golfers with male caddies, where is there dignity?"
quote[18]="Lady, people aren't chocolates. Do you know what they are mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard fillings. But I don't find them half as annoying as I find naive bubble-headed optimists who walk around vomiting sunshine."
quote[19]="This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting."
quote[20]="Tourists are terrorists with cameras. Terrorists are tourists with guns."
quote[21]="There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics."
quote[22]="It is easier to stay out than get out."
quote[23]="Melawan Realitas."
quote[24]="We think we know what we are doing. We have always thought so. We never seem to acknowledge that we have been wrong in the past, and so might be wrong in the future. Instead, each generation writes off earlier errors as the result of bad-thinking by less able minds - and then confidently embarks on fresh errors of its own."
quote[25]="I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe."
quote[26]="It's like a koala bear crapped a rainbow into my brain !"
quote[27]="Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."
quote[28]="Hard work always pays...eventually, but lazy gets results now."
quote[29]="Blame it on Microsoft, even God does."
quote[30]="If you shout for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would produce enough energy to warm a cup of coffee."
quote[31]="Isaac Newton also invented the catflap."
quote[32]="Sending a single text message on a smartphone costs 4 times as much as transmitting data to the Hubble space telescope."
quote[33]="I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it."
quote[34]="'... Polish vodka'. The gun disappeared and there was a click. I strained my ears to listen to the conversation as the tape reeled on insanely - radio tuned to a dead station. Outside, the Sunbeam started up - another click, a sharp hiss, bone on concrete, two seconds to act. '... a lot of dead ends. And what about the operation ?'"
quote[35]="A neutron walks into a bar and asks: 'how much for a beer'. The bartender says, 'For you ? No charge.'"
quote[36]="Two things are infinite: The universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
quote[37]="If you hold a Linux shell to your ear, you can hear the C."
quote[38]="Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die tomorrow."
quote[39]="You know, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help."
quote[40]="Scream in a library and everyone will just look at you. Scream in an airplane and everyone will join in."
quote[41]="Do you get the hilarious news coverage where they go to a supermarket and interview everyone purchasing excessive quantities of milk?"
quote[42]="I have always dressed according to certain basic Guy fashion rules, including: both of your socks should always be the same color, or they should at least both be fairly dark"
quote[43]="In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
quote[44]="If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts."
quote[45]="There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened."
quote[46]="This planet has - or rather had - a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy."
quote[47]="It is an important and popular fact that things are not always what they seem. For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much - the wheel, New York, wars and so on - whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man - for precisely the same reasons."
quote[48]="All it takes to fly is to hurl yourself at the ground... and miss."
quote[49]="It is not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end."
quote[50]="I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be."
quote[51]="If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now."
quote[52]="I'm not a good example, so I have an obligation to be a horrible warning."
quote[53]="Crime does not pay ... as well as politics."
quote[54]="Ford, I think I'm a sofa."
quote[55]="What the hell, he thought, you're only young once, and threw himself out of the window. That would at least keep the element of surprise on his side."
quote[56]="The person who smiles when bad things happen knows who to blame it on."
quote[57]="It doesn't matter what temperature a room is. It's always room temperature."
quote[58]="Whatever goes wrong, there's always someone who knew it would."
quote[59]="Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity."
quote[60]="To some of us, reading the manual is conceding defeat."
quote[61]="Video games, interestingly, are far better integrated and have much better performance than office software. I think this is because people who program video games love them, and care about the ideas, look and feel of the resulting product. I doubt that anyone who programs word processors really loves writing."
quote[62]="See, you not only have to be a good coder to create a system like Linux, you have to be a sneaky bastard too."
quote[63]="Anatidaephobia is the fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you"
quote[64]="Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted. - John Lennon."
quote[65]="Bite my shiny metal ass."
quote[66]="I love this planet! I've got wealth, fame, and access to the depths of sleaze that those things bring."
quote[67]="Sperm has 37.5MB of DNA information. Ejaculation represents a data transfer of 1,587.5TB"
quote[68]="'You know', said Arthur,' it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space, that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young.' - 'Why, what did she tell you?' - 'I don't know, I didn't listen.'"
quote[69]="The chicken came first - God would look silly sitting on an egg."
quote[70]="In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri."
quote[71]="On the way back, they sang a number of tuneful and reflective songs on the subjects of peace, justice, morality, culture, sport, family life, and the obliteration of all other life forms."
quote[72]="Don't try to outweird me, six-eyes, I get stranger things than you with my breakfast cereal !"
quote[73]="I don't think I could handle going back to a dial-up. It'd be like drinking a milkshake through a coffee stirrer."
quote[74]="Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, champagne in one hand, strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO - what a ride ! '"
quote[75]="Only wimps use backups. Real men upload their important files to FTP, and let the world mirror it."
quote[76]="Yesterday is yesterday. If we try to recapture it, we will only lose tomorrow."
quote[77]="Code is poetry."
quote[78]="Intel or AMD, who cares ? Nvidia or ATI, who cares ? Windows or Linux, who cares ? It's about the experience. The technology. It's the journey, not the destination. There is no end point. No perfect buy. No perfect company. No perfect chip. Stop looking for your identity in a piece of hardware !"
quote[79]="Why do people give eachother flowers? To celebrate various important occasions, they're killing living creatures? Why restrict it to plants? Sweetheart, let's make up. Have this deceased squirrel."
quote[80]="'Life,' he said, 'is like a grapefruit. It's sort of orangy-yellow and dimpled on the outside, wet and squidgy in the middle. It's got pips inside, too. Oh, and some people have three or four for breakfast.'"
quote[81]="Every drop of rain has been digested 6 times before in history, on average."
quote[82]="Some people wear Superman pajama's. Superman himself, however, wears mine."
quote[83]="Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil."
quote[84]="Released ? Our software is not *released* ! It escapes from the lab, leaving a bloody trail of programmers and QA testers behind it !"
quote[85]="Piracy is not theft. After you take it, they still have it."
quote[86]="IRC is just multiplayer notepad."
quote[87]="I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying 'You're next'. They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals."
quote[88]="He had the look of a man trying to convert Fahrenheit to Centigrade while his house was burning down."
quote[89]="I always find it almost humbling when peoples lives spill into the internet like this. The internet is full with little words and pictures and acronyms and real life is filled with rocks and stores and house and squishy things that go 'meep' when you step on them. Somehow, it's hard to conceptualize that the two are intertwined."
quote[90]="While you're waiting, read the free novel we sent you. It's a Spanish story about a guy named 'Manual.' - Dilbert" 
quote[91]="Let me put it this way. Sometimes I pretend to choke in the cafeteria. Then when someone performs the Heimlich Maneuver I spin around suddenly...just to get a hug. - Dilbert"
quote[92]="I saw the code for your computer program yesterday. It looked easy. Its just a bunch of typing. And half of the words were spelt wrong. And dont get me started on your over-use of colons. - Dilbert's Boss"
quote[93]="The cake is a spy."
quote[94]="There's plenty of fish in the sea ... When I run out of women."
quote[95]="About as cool as a fart in a spacesuit. - David Miller, on the Linux kernel mailing list"
quote[96]="It's too late for the government to train me as a secret weapon."
quote[97]="Hell, there are no rules here - we're trying to accomplish something. - Thomas A. Edison"
quote[98]="A ship, atop a mountain, is not in itself, proof of a flood. It means someone thought there was going to be a flood."
quote[99]="Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes."
function rndnumber(){
var randscript = -1
while (randscript < 0 || randscript > howMany || isNaN(randscript)){
randscript = parseInt(Math.random()*(howMany+1))
}
return randscript
}
quo = rndnumber()
quox = quote[quo]
document.write(quox)